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Diary....

Lusa gw hrs pergi merantau ke jkrt...gw mulai start krj tgl 31okt2011... sigh..gw hrs tinggalin rumah lg n idup d kos2an, stlh sktr 1taun gw d rmh...:')

Berat jg rasanya..tp ni hrs d jlnin..gw pgn deh bs optimis tuk jlnin ini smua, demi ms dpn gw diary...gw pgn lakuin sesuatu tuk ortu gw... gw hny bs berdoa spy Tuhan mampukan n senantiasa melindungi pjlnan hidup gw ma kluarga... Akhir2 ini gw ngerasain berkat yg luar biasa dr Tuhan, Dy mencukupi kebutuhan, gw dpt berkat sepatu baru, celana kain baru, dpt cemilan2, d pnuhi kebutuhan pangan, senantiasa d lindungi... God is the best all the time... He gives the best for me, and for u too...

Praise God...:)

Puji Tuhan....

Sungguh puji Tuhan.... gw pgn nangis skrg ini... nangis bahagia... akhirnya gw dpt apa yg slama ini gw cri... perjlnan gw slama ini rasanya terbayar sudah... hmpr setaun gw frustasi, hmpr setaun gw nyari n down, hmpr setaun gw ngerepotin kakak, ortu, shbt2 gw... hmpr setaun mrk sll support gw...:')

Makasih ya smuanya... 

Tp koq stlh dpt, gw ngerasa terbelenggu ya, haha udh ga bs santai kyk biasa, tp emg ini yg gw mau...gw pgn pny kegiatan... smoga gw bs menghargai apa yg gw dpt n gw bs fokus, bs lakuin maksimal apa yg gw bs... 

Pas gw td dpt kbrnya, gw kepgn bs share kebahagiaan gw ma org yg gw suka, sm ortu, kakak gw, shbt gw...namun org yg gw suka entah dmana n apa yg dy lakuin skrg.... Mrk smua berharga buat gw, sll support gw d saat gw down... mrk motivator gw... Makasih byk :') makasih... Mgkn kalian ada rasa jenuh dg gw yg sll down n ga smgt, maap ya, scr ga lgsg kalian jd ikut cmpr dlm keresahan gw, dlm sgala hawa2 negatif dlm pkran gw....

Hahaha...ga tau lg hrs blg apa... SEMANGAT!!!!!!! hahaha gw pgn bs smgt kyk sohib gw, n gw pgn bs rajin kyk kakak & org yg gw suka, gw pgn bs tegar n tabah kyk papa gw...... I love U all.... 18 nov 2010 n 18 okt 2011 ga akan gw lupain.....:')

Ini Ceritaku....

hi diary...

Gw pny crita bru nih... Bbrp hr lalu, gw ke jkrt lg, tepatnya mulai brgkt hr mggu pg (16okt2011) jm 07.40 tuk menuhin interview d hr slasa 18okt2011 alias kmrn.. n kmrn sore nya gw lgsg deh meluncur balik ke rmh... fiuhhh, cpek jg.. kaki udh berasa pegel

D sna gw byk nemu bbrp rintangan, mulai dr penjaga kos kakak gw yg matre (pemalak super sadis! grrr..), gw yg d landa bingung n hmpr nyerah jg pas kmrn.. Nyali gw smpt ciut gara2 tu bapak2 yg malak, d kira gw bkn adik kandung, n malak 150rb/ hr tuk nginep..aje gileee bapak, lu pkr duit turun dr langit ye? lu pkr gw d sono ngapain aje mpe 150rb? paling gw cm numpang tidur, numpang mandi, pke listrik jg cm lptp...ga nyampe segtu kaliiiiiii... sebel gw.. gw ngerasa ga berdaya n ngerepotin kakak gw.. sbnrnya d brosur jg 450rb/week... nah lho, bgi aje deh tu, sehr brp? oon bin stupid kali ya tu bapak, matanya d butain ma duit mpe ga bs ngitung...

Rncn gw yg mo blik hr rabu akhirnya gw majuin deh jd slasa sore, mls gw d sna, ms hrs byr lg...

kmrn tu gw berasa sial deh, haha.. udh kluar kos tu jam 6.30 makan dlu, lalu tggu kopaja 20.. ehhh tu kopaja ga nongol2 mpe stgh 8, mn jalan jg udh macet buangetttttttt! hahaha. gw smpt mo nyerah, kepkr pke taxi, tp jg berasa eman2 duit... kakak sih smpt nyaranin gw ke blok M dlu br ke t4 tujuan, cm gw ogah, tkutnya nyasar, hufhhh nasib2 hahaha, mn d dket situ ga ada halte busway...

Finally, gw naik bajaj, si abang teh minta 30rb, d tawar deh, akhirnya 25rb, ehm gw pkr gw aman nih, bs nyampe dg selamat, hahaha tnyt d luar dugaan, ni kesialan gw berikutnya... gw d turunin gt aja, dg alsn bajaj cm bs nyampe situ, ga bs lebih.. Alamakkk! gw asing ma tu t4, si abang mah bs bilang jalan ke sono tu udh daerahnya, lha iya klo gw ngerti..ni ga ngerti.. >.< gw smpt mo nangis, smpt crita ke kakak gw.. dy nyaranin gw jgn panik n cb tny org..

Gw smpt tny sm seorg cewe, ehm cm dy jg ga tll paham..n nyaranin gw tny tukang ojek... gw smpt sih mo telusurin sndr, tp bner2 ga ada bayangan tu dmana, ada sih halte busway,tp q ga knal ma tu halte, asing aje. Akhirnya gw putusin naik ojek...bye2 10rb hahaha... yg pntg gw nyampe dg slmt.. Sbnrnya sih, klo d telusurin pke jalan kaki bs jg,andai gw tau t4nya, tp jg ga tll dket jg t4nya hahaha

Jrenggg, gw d perush tu tes n interview, tesnya amburadul wkwk, tp singkat crita, kyk nya sih bs goal...n gw d minta medical check up... Gw putusin tuk lgsg ke sna hr itu jg, biar gw bs lgsg balik...:P

Gw jalan kaki dlu nuju halte busway, n wusss brgkt.. pas turun, gw smpt tny org, ada bapak2 nyaranin gw tuk lgsg exit,n tinggal jln kaki, dket katanya dr situ.. maap y pak,sy ga pcy dg bapak, berhubung sblmnya sy NYASAR oleh tukang bajaj, jd sy ga berani deh... akhirnya gw naik tangga busway ke haluan lain, sejauh mata memandang wow! nemu deh tu gedung, oalah......gw br tau, tu bapak ga slh...n gw akhirnya ga jd naik busway, gw pke tangga busway tuk numpang lewat aje,hehehehe.. trims ya pak! (gw smpt niat blik lg cm tuk blg thx ke tu bapak,tp ga jd wkwkk)

Huaaa, ini nih, medical check up nya suram,hahaha... nadi gw ga ketemu2, mpe d encus 3x deh... kanan kiri, ma d pergelangan tgn... bekasnya terasa pula....T.T stlh d encus jg q lgsg lemes, anti ma jarum suntik, berasa dy menyedot smuaaaaaa kekuatan gw hahahahaha *lebay dikit :P*

Yah stlh medical check up, gw lgsg meluncur ke harmoni, lalu ke gambir hehehe. wuihhh tumben amat kmrn tu yg pulogadung laris manis yg antri hahaha. Singkat crita, gw nyampe gambir jm stgh 3, n lgsg beli karcis tuk jm 5sore wkwk, lama bgt nunggunya kmrn, boring sangaaaatt,haha. Keretanya ontime hehe, TOP deh, tp kedinginan jg sih d kereta wkwkk...gw nyampe d kota tercinta jm 8mlm, d jmpt jg sm papa hehehe... Niatnya sih klo ga dpt tiket, gw mo numpang d kos sohib gw sambil menjailinya lg hihihihi *devil* thx for her, she always support me! ^^

Itulah cerita gw kmrn, 12jam yg melelahkan n bersejarah...gw br nyadar kmrn tgl 18 haha... almost 1 taun jg dr tgl 18nov2010 saat itu.... ehm 18 oh 18....^^

Smoga Tuhan berikan yg terbaik...Amin..

Deeper

Dear blog...

Gmana memulainya yah, gw sndr bngng tuk mulai critanya.. kpgn ngblog tp jg bngng curhatnya nih... Gw berasa gundah ih, ya ampun... hrsnya kan prioritas utama gw tu ttg job n ms dpn, tp yg gw pkrin mlh rasa suka gw pdnya,ckck..

Akhir2 ini gw mlh jd deg2an, pdhl cm inget dy, or skedar liat ada nama n sms dy d hp...huffh, klo mnrt sohib gw sih, tu namanya cinta.. gw mgkn udh tambah naksir dy nih..duh gmana dong? gw jd cemas sndr... d tmbh lg, gw tau dy bakal eksis trs d YM, gw jd kepgnnya tuh ol mulu...

Gw lbh suka klo dy jrg ol kyk dlu.. Gw biasanya jg emg ngarep dy ol, n stiap gw ol yg gw cri ptama yaitu dy...n gw udh terbiasa tuk menunggu apakah dy akan ol saat itu... saat dy ol, gw nyapa dy n chat, tu bikin gw sneng buanggeeet! tp klo skrg... y bukannya gw ga sneng klo dy bakal ol, n bs jd gw srg chat kan ma dy dg kyk gni... tp bukan tu yg d pkran gw.. gw ngerasa dg gt,gw bakal ganggu dy dong, gw bakal ol mulu krn tau dy ol, gw bakal ol mulu demi liat dy...

Ga bgs aja sih, gw pgn bgt bs mendam rasa ini....

Skrg, saat gw lg nulis blog, gw jg d temenin ma tayangan RCTI "when sule meet sulis" hihi, bgs sih,cm gw ga liat dr awal deh... selain itu, dy jg sbnrnya ol sih...tp ga gw sapa..coz dy busy...gw rasa jg ga bgs lah ganggu dy...gw ngarepnya dy yg nyapa q...hukz kan tu brrti dy ga sibuk...:)

Btw dy jg lg ga enak bdn nih,,,sedih euy....entah dy skt nya apa... hope u'll get well soon n gw kepgn bgt bs tau kbr dy...pgn bs tau dy knp... tp gw jg tkut tuk ksh phtian ini pdnya.. ehmm brusan dy off....>.<

Met beraktivitas yah,,, GBU

In The Dark

In The Dark..
I'm writing my blog
In The Dark..
I'm thinking of you
In The Dark..
I feel so stupid
In The Dark..
I can't feel any hope
In The Dark..
I try to seek the light one

Who am I today? It's different part of me,
being stupidest today, can't think clearly,
being emotion to catch you...
catch someone who's nowhere and far away,
catch someone who doesn't care..
who doesn't hv the same feeling...
who am I? being so selfish, just think my self,
deeply fall to the darkness of frustation...
Come on, wake up! face the truth of ur life
It's not ur true destiny,
U must try hard to catch another one...
If u failed, just try harder and harder..
Make him as ur inspiration, it's good
Don't bother him so much,
just admire him secretly, it's enough...

Walk by ur own feet,
Catch by ur own hands,
Dream by ur own faith...

Gomenasai

What I thought wasn’t mine
In the light
Wasn’t one of a kind
A precious pearl

when I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn’t allowed

gomenasai
For everything
gomenasai
I know I let you down
gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now

What I thought I was a note
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of Porcelain

When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself

gomenasai
For everything
gomenasai
I know I let you down
gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
like I do now

What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege

When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away

gomenasai
For everything
Gomenasai
gomenasai
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
gomenasai
I let you down
gomenasai
gomenasai
gomenasai till the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now
=========================================

I made u know this...

But also i cancelled it..

I'm sorry, i'm too afraid

Afraid if u know, afraid if u read...

I dont want to ruin our friend's relationship

I'm too coward, I can't imagine if u knew it..

I cried last night, 

My heart was crying, don't want to delete that post...

But I think it's better to delete...

I buried it deeper....

Rainy tears

I'm not in a good mood today...so boring >_____< i can't think clearly... and i'm not mood in chat with others too... suddenly, i got message from sister of my friend, she ask for the insurance, sorry before and after, i reject it, but she try hard to explain more to me... it's not getting effect...she made me angry...and i told her clearly that i've said no, and it means no... sorry... i'm not in good mood at all, and u insist me...argggh!

When i'm writing it, my tears falling too...i can't bear it anymore.. how pity i am? my heart yelling inside...ask for the exit....

Farewell Wish

I've been thinking a lot

But nothing I got

I've tried different

But it's useless

When I got back my spirit

Tomorrow comes to erase it

Lazy, bored, tired come so quick to me

Destroy me..

I feel like i'm gonna be nothing

Every day goes so fast

I can't reach it

I can't handle it anymore

Every night I feel afraid of the new day

I don't want to see new day

I really hope time can stop rotating

I can't take it easy anymore

I don't wanna try a new again

I want to dump all the stories

Useless, hopeless, and lonely....

It's me now...

When i can say good bye...? When i can celebrate it and make the biggest farewell party in my life?