In The Dark

In The Dark..
I'm writing my blog
In The Dark..
I'm thinking of you
In The Dark..
I feel so stupid
In The Dark..
I can't feel any hope
In The Dark..
I try to seek the light one

Who am I today? It's different part of me,
being stupidest today, can't think clearly,
being emotion to catch you...
catch someone who's nowhere and far away,
catch someone who doesn't care..
who doesn't hv the same feeling...
who am I? being so selfish, just think my self,
deeply fall to the darkness of frustation...
Come on, wake up! face the truth of ur life
It's not ur true destiny,
U must try hard to catch another one...
If u failed, just try harder and harder..
Make him as ur inspiration, it's good
Don't bother him so much,
just admire him secretly, it's enough...

Walk by ur own feet,
Catch by ur own hands,
Dream by ur own faith...

Farewell Wish

I've been thinking a lot

But nothing I got

I've tried different

But it's useless

When I got back my spirit

Tomorrow comes to erase it

Lazy, bored, tired come so quick to me

Destroy me..

I feel like i'm gonna be nothing

Every day goes so fast

I can't reach it

I can't handle it anymore

Every night I feel afraid of the new day

I don't want to see new day

I really hope time can stop rotating

I can't take it easy anymore

I don't wanna try a new again

I want to dump all the stories

Useless, hopeless, and lonely....

It's me now...

When i can say good bye...? When i can celebrate it and make the biggest farewell party in my life?

Sad Being Me

Galau... Pikiran lg ga bagus.. Rasanya kepgn bs ngeblog.. Yah, gw jd keinget jaman2 skul dlu dmana gw pny buku diary, and almost everyday i wrote my story... Suka sih nulis crita2 gtu saat gw lg sedih maupun seneng krn tu bs bikin lega..

Well...ni hr ptama gw ngeblog d sni... dpt ilham dr temen gw sih, 2 hr lalu dy ngeblog jg jd gw kepkr alangkah asiknya jg klo gw bs kyk gni, pny blog n bs nulis apapun...hehe thx for my friend..

Balik ke campur aduknya hati ini... Rasanya sedih bgt jd diri gw.. Gw ngerasa change a lot, n cndrg negatif rasanya... Being alone, being lazy and do nothing, being more melancholic... Andai aja gw pny job, gw udh bayangin, gw bakal rajin bgn pg, trs ktmu ma org2 kntr, n kehidupan gw ga bakal mati kyk skrg... bs duduk dpn kompie or lptp to do work... hahhh.. gw cm bs hela napas..tu cm angan2 aja, krn KENYATAAN nya sungguh sgt jauh berbeda..

Gw cm d rumah tiap hr, mls2an, hny nongkrongin lptp, playing games or fb, chat YM...that's it! idup yg flat, n berasa mati... bgn siang, hobi tidur, mls mandi... Buruk bgt ya gw ini? berasa useless..
Yg berhsl bikin gw mellow lg y tentu aja ttg status jobless gw ini.. gw smpt d kbrin kakak sepupu tuk ngelamar salah 1 bank d Jakarta.. ngelamar nya aja pke pjuangan, krm email berkali-kali, huffh mn koneksi inet jg ga capcus... singkatnya, mrk ajak gw ke sna, tp hrs bsk...alamak! gw kan bkn stay d Jkrt.. mrk nya jg bukannya hubungin gw lgsg ehh mlh via sodara gw...agak ga suka sih gw.. trs gw cb nego minta ganti hr koq mrk nya kyk ga bs... Brusan jg sodara gw telp gw lg, tny kejlsn ke gw?

Koq berasa gw yg jd tersangka d sni, ckck.. yah akhirnya gw cb deh sms si ibu, cb tny bs ga mggu dpn, tp pending...pdhl krm udh mpe 3x...
Sbnrnya gw udh smpt pny smgt lg sih bbrp hr lalu, tp skrg udh menciut lg deh... Gw jd keinget sih kotbah pendeta gw, klo qta tu ga useless, we can do anything usefull in our life and for others too... Sbnrnya gw jg pcy,klo d balik sesuatu yg ngtf, pasti ada sesuatu yg positif d dlmnya yg bs qta ambil.. n sbnrnya klo jodoh ma tu job, pasti ga bakal lari kemana y... Cm sayangnya, gw bukan tipe org yg positive thinking! Yah... susahnya gt.. jd ni tetep aja mellow.. tetep aja frustasi...

Butuh referensi kali ya gw ini,ato bhkn ekstrim nya tu hrs ke psikiater haha, ooopss ga mpe sgtunya jg sih...
ehm crita udh pjg, udh lmyn lega sih...smoga gw bs nuai makna yg indah d balik kesedihan ini...:)

Have a nice day! Smile...^^